dhammo-ki-shaadi

dhammo-ki-shaadi

What else could the title be?

Short intro: There were many ways to write this blog. To decide on the method, I did a probabilistic study which involved the solution of arcane coupled partial differential equations. I tried to make it a thriller type of comedy (whatever that means!), but it did not come out that good. Then I decided to build an emotional story around the Jaipur Trip with all the incidents thrown in. But I figured that people who have not been to the marriage would not understand the story. So I have made a diary kind of thing. There are some comic moments but the moment Dhamani arrives, I have made everything serious. ‘Coz it was his wedding and that was a serious matter. This is the third draft of the blog. The perspective is ours and the central theme is not the wedding but the Jaipur trip. I hope you like it.

Sharat and Kamal came down from Bangalore. Aaga, Bansal, Parang, Kaushik and Modani came down from Kharagpur. Hari came down from Hyderabad. Prakhar and Mehro came down from Kolkata. Vaidya came down from Mumbai. Thhakraal came down from Chandigarh. Poddar, Ishu, Supreet and Satvik were already in New Delhi. It was a true national gathering. We were the United Colours of India. From very fair Mehro to very dark Aaga, from very tall Maalu to very short Satvik and Kamal, from very balding Poddar to very very hairy Thhakraal; we had the entire gamut.

So it starts on the night of 12^th of December

We reached Poddar’s very grand home. Some food and a few drinks were bought. We sat down in an empty room. Some mattresses were laid and the mehfil was set for a bhaat. And some bhaat it was. We learnt about the intricacies of the teeth of the gift horse(kamal has the full info on this). We also learnt about the new bandi cut that bansal was sporting (info on this with Aaga). And we also learnt that one of the windows in the room was broken. So there we were sleeping (well trying to!) blanket-less in the biting December New Delhi cold.

On to 13^th December, the wedding day.

No one knows who the culprit was. But all the taps were out of water in the morning. Some people were suspecting Hari and his ati-mutr-vyaadhi (Ask Hari for info on this). So, we basically woke up, did not brush, did not go to bathroom, did not change and picked our bags and left podu’s home. Chacha and Supreet had come on a taxi to pick us up. And so the road trip to Jaipur started.

Half of us were dozing in the taxi. The other half was cursing. After all everyone could not sleep simultaneously inside the cramped taxi. After various rounds of cursing and dozing and obviously bhaating, we came to the midway hotel. After a few rounds of peeing and ogling at girls, we settled down for our lunch.

The sad thing about life is that it is always punctual. We on the other hand are not. We had promised to pick Vaidya up from the Jaipur airport at 10:30 AM. Well, it was 10:30 and we were in the midway hotel. Vaidya was left stranded on the airport (more info on this with Vaidya).

One of other sad things about life is that it is ironic. So, when we came to Jaipur we got lost near the Birla Mandir. So, instead of us picking up Vaidya, he came to pick us up from the Birla Mandir and we reached our destination.

One of other sad things about life is that is gives you difficult choices. When we reached our destination in Jaipur, we were welcomed by cozy mattresses and warm blankets. On the other hand we had the promise of a bathroom where we could relieve ourselves of the pressure built-up inside our body since morning. It was indeed a difficult choice. Hari chose to relieve his pressure. Bansal chose the blanket.

One other thing about life is that it makes you understand and accept diversity. This happened during lunch. We learnt that in Jaipur, contrary to normal practice, food starts with a sweet dish (laddu in this case).

Post-lunch, the star of the day, the extremely dashing Dhamani arrived. And people did pose for photographs with the star. A few flashbulbs later, the star let loose his charm and people flocked him. And as it always happens with the groom, he got his call from home. He had to leave for some pooja before the wedding.

After this, we bathed, shaved, bansal relieved his pressure, we dressed up, combed, cleaned our shoes and left for the wedding. At the baraat-start-point (dunno what it is called), we assembled. We were waiting for the knight in the shining new clothes. And when he came, we did a rapturous applause. And then we danced.

And danced.

And danced.

And danced till our bodies allowed us. Inside the marriage complex (dunno what it is called), we became the perfect gentlemen so uncharacteristic of college students or recent college grads. So we politely turned away so much good grub. We ate with the discretion reserved for royals.

Meanwhile, Dhamani was getting married off. His marriage was held in a huge set, a la bollywood. The backdrop had stone carvings of hindu gods. The architecture of the set had that distinctive baroque feel. It, basically, resembled a wonderfully carved, huge white wall with flowers, pillars, drapes, and internal lighting at specified positions. The entire arena was bathed in lights. The food stalls were on the other end. On this end, there were chairs to sit and watch dhamani’s varmaala. Pretty soon, the graceful and glowing bhabhi arrived. And we went up to do some mischief during the varmaala. Sadly, we were barred from doing that. After the varmaala and the photographs and the extended intros with the bride and the groom, we left the two to meet other people.

We, however, ran for the food. The buffet fruit salad was very good. The main course was delicious. The ice cream was elegantly presented. But the masala pasta, desi macaroni and punjabi-broccoli stood out. For me this was a new experience of eating the fusion of desi masalas and Italian pastas and broccoli.

It was getting cold. By the time the bride and the groom were on the mandap, it was past 12:00 midnight. We put on our warm clothes and went for the wedding.

One good thing about the wedding was that the mantras were read in hindi. So we could understand what was being said. This wedding will be remembered for two major things.

First will be Supreet. Supreet was the sakshi of the marriage. The pandit solemnised the marriage and made Supreet the sakshi. He thus shared the same pedestal as Lord Ganesh and Shiv and Parvati. Also the pandit cracked innumerable jokes on Supreet.

Second will be the faux pas that Dhamani made. When the vows were being exchanged, Dhamani was expected to take seven vows. After explaining the first vow, the pandit asked Dhamani if he accepted the vow. Hearing this, Dhamani went blank and mumbled, “What!” All of us started laughing aloud.

After the tearful vidaai we went home, were all very tired and slept off instantly on our beds.

14 December, After the wedding

We had slept at 6:00 AM, so we woke up at 2:00 PM. And what a beautiful afternoon it was.

It was sunny and chairs were laid in the lawn. We started the normal bhaat session. Nothing would have come between us and our bhaat, had Parang not come up with the promise of excellent food from the Rawat Mishtann Bhandar.

At the bhandaar, there was a palpable tension. After all, we, so many of us, had landed there. We ate some exotic rajasthani food. I don’t remember the names now. But it was delicious and was spicy and piping hot. Not to mention, there was also another very very sweet dish.

Now that we had had our appetizers, we went for the main course. All of us went inside a nearby restaurant.

Meanwhile, the much anticipated arrival of Pappu happened. As always, he was late. This time he was late by just one day. Excellent by his standards.

And then it happened!

We counted. And we found that there were six batches of students sharing table at same time.

Six consecutive batches from the same wing sharing the same table.

And it did not seem too awkward. Everybody knew everybody and was comfortable in the presence of everybody. The best part was that such a thing did not seem to be that big a deal. Pappu making it to Jaipur was the much bigger news.

After having our food, we went to Chokhi Dhaani –The good village.

At the entrance we were greeted with teeka on our forehead. Once inside, we had a taste of real authentic rajasthani village. We watched kathputli play, dance by village girls, and mehandi being drawn on females and also rode camels.

Then we discovered the merry-go-round. It was not run on electricity. Instead, there were workers who used the concepts of rotational motion much better than us. They balanced angular momentum to make the merry-go-round move.

However, there was one basic problem. Satvik was the first person who sat on the merry-go-round. As the workers were trying to balance angular momentum, they discovered that they had nothing to balance it against. Satvik weighed practically nothing. Now, they used their entire team to make weights and counter-weights. And the merry-go-round set rotating.

We also tried our hands at shooting, archery and dart-boarding, thereby discovering that none of us was good at anything.

We played live game of snake and ladders, which AaGa won. He somehow managed to escape the mandatory GPLs that come along with such victories.

We tried our hands at kanche. Parang and Jacko thoroughly rocked this game. Parang played it like a thorough village professional.

People crossed rivers on boats. Few of us watched a blacksmith shape metal. But the blacksmith got so frustrated by our incessant questioning that he left the spot then and there.

We, then, left for the make believe forest. As always happens before going to forests, we had to take our share of hukkah pleasure. Kamal smoked away to glory. And as always he had some funda on strawberry hukkah and the works. Inside the make-believe forest, we found a cave. And we crossed it. Nothing remarkable to be seen inside.

We were already very tired. So we went for the dinner.

It was an authentic Rajasthani fare, with bajre ki roti, tinde ki bhaji and the works. As always happens, Hari befriended the kitchen staff. Everyone was circling Hari. They even packed some food for him so that he could take that to Hyderabad.

After the food, we left back to our place in Jaipur. There people played 29 throughout the night in the room filled with smoke. Pappu was the reigning loser. He won Rs 16 and lost $150 million. This info overshadowed all information regarding the champion winner.

Meanwhile in the next room, people were trying to bhaat away throughout the night. This obviously did and happen ’coz everybody was too tired to bhaat. Even the normally energetic Sharat, who is always game for long bhaat session, dozed off.

15^th December, the Reception Day

This was the shopping day. People bought gifts for themselves, their families and their special someones. According to last estimates, Vaidya’s shopping bill crossed Rs 10000. On the other side was Thhakraal, who did not buy anything.

By the time people returned, it was night. So we started dressing impeccably in formals for the reception. There was the occasional quibbling for shaving space in the basin. There was also the obvious fretting for matching pair of socks. Also, the combs were in extremely short supply. And a hair gel was a luxury.

One batch left early for the reception. They locked a room when they were leaving. The idea was that when the other batch (which was getting ready) leaves, they would lock the other room.

One sad thing about plans is that they follow Murphy’s Law, which states that, “If anything can go wrong, it will go wrong”. So it happened with our little plan. As we locked one room, we had locked Jacko Da out in the bathroom. So when he came out, he had nothing to wear, except the towel that he was wearing. One of us ran back and rescued Jacko Da.

At the reception, the theme was blue. The backdrop was blue. The chairs were blue. The food stall was blue. Even a few lights were blue.

Talking about food stalls. One sad thing about eating in a marriage is that you have to eat on time. During the marriage AaGa and Bansal had missed that chance. So they had come determined to make-up for the hunger of the marriage night.

The evening started with dance numbers being performed by family members. And as everyone was having their snacks, Bansal went ahead and took his share of first meal. AaGa was more interested in peeing. He discovered the toilet and also distributed the hard earned knowledge about the location of the bathroom among his peers. Sharat soon utilized this knowledge to his advantage.

After Bansal finished his first round of food, he started the second round with all of us. We formed a big circle, ate the masala pasta and the main course. Satvik came armed with just a spoon, a la RK Hall super special dinners. A bite from here and a spoonful from there filled him. Throughout the dinner, an interesting banter was going on between Satvik, Hari and Dhamani’s Bhabhi.

The very extremely massively highly sad thing about fun trips is that they end. And when they end, you don’t feel like going back to reality. You want time to stay still and the happy moments to continue. You want to arrive at the instant again and again. You cherish those moments. You watch the photos and videos to feel good. You read blogs to relive those days. You talk to each other about those days. But sadly, those days themselves, get over.

So, the Jaipur trip was coming to a close. And we bid Dhamani good-bye. We had to leave to continue our lives.

Most importantly, Thank You Dhamani for giving us such magical days.